Shooting the Sh@# @ Chronic Cellars

Day three of "Get out of Dodge before you kill someone," road trip was beginning better than the latter two days. By now, I was beginning to relax and the much needed salt water intervention had eased my stress. It was time to do some serious wine tasting.

My buddy Denise, AKA Road Dawg, had suggested a visit to a small winery named Chronic Cellars.

The winery is located northwest of what is known in Paso Robles as the "Far Out" wineries. This group of tiny axe murderer type domiciles offers some of the most unique wines in the area far removed from city life. The owner/winemakers/body concealers (Just kidding) are twin brothers Jake and Josh Becket, who create some unique ( a safe description) wines with a lean toward Rhone varietals.
Unlike many wineries that load the tasting room with all things gift shop, it was refreshing to see artwork that could have easily been confused with a rampant comic book collectors eclectic tastes. A large  round, booth like couch that could easily seat 10 people  and a pool table also occupied the space.

The room was dimly lit, warm and festive. Good Karma, yes, but where this place truly shined was in the behavior of the tasting room staff. Awesome!
 My host, Kevin, was a true pro at providing a memorable experience. Why was the experience memorable? Simply because, well, unfortunately, the wines were not. Ok, before you go and get your panties in a wad, hear me out. The wine was not bad; a little on the unfocused side, but not bad. Drinkable, but not bad. Cool labels, but not bad.

Being a Rhone lover as well as a blend lover, and letting Kevin know this, he suggested a selection of wines that were in line with my taste preferences.  As he poured the first selection, a blend of Syrah and Zinfandel, I could not take my eyes off of the skeleton on the label. The wine was called Purple Passion. It was dark, definitely purple and well, let's just say that it was uhhh, it was, purple? Kevin could sense that my palate was searching for some hint of a reason to say anything about this wine, but nothing happened. Like a pro, and a very honest person, (he was so nice), he offered the words that eluded me. " A bit varietal unfocused, wouldn't you say?"

Uh, huh, those were the words that escaped my vocal chords. My face must have began to look like the graphic on the label, and Kevin explained how the winemakers developed this purple liquid. My mind went blank during the explanation, but Kevin was so nice. At all times, he was warm, honest and understanding of the effort it took to say something, anything about this wine. In truth, there was not much to say. It was though, very purple. On to the next bottle.

Still in a fog about the first sample, it dawned on me that maybe my mood had something to do with the inability to taste anything unique in the Purple Paradise. When Zinfandel and Syrah are blended together, the flavors play on one another to create a nice dark, spicy fruit forward wine. Maybe the next offering would have something additional to bring out these favorable traits.

It did! The Unteachables; a blend of Petite Syrah, Syrah and Zinfandel. Just what the doctor ordered. Now we are talking. The nose was leathery, sweet and had just a hint of smoke. This would be the one. I could hardly wait to let it flow over my tongue, rest in the deep orifice of the floor of my mouth and tickle the uvula in the back of my throat. Yes, this was going to be the wine that would find it's way into my collection. It was going home, today!

No, it didn't even come close to what my nose detected. Eagerly anticipating the flood of fruitiness, the wine settled limply on my tongue. Kevin could see my disdain and immediately suggested that he open a new bottle as this one had been open more than 24 hours. As he went about doing everything to make me feel comfortable, (he was so nice), a thought bubble must have appeared above my head, and Kevin could read the content; "She is not enjoying this wine!"
As he poured from a fresh bottle, he laughed a little and was completely unapologetic. After all, this is wine tasting, and one cannot expect to like every wine that is available. He simply smiled and offered another selection...which I must say was redemptive.

Suite Petite! 85% Petitte Syrah, 15% Syrah. We are in Rhone heaven, yes? Sort of. At least there was no skeleton on the label. Kevin detected a glimmer of acceptance on my face. I'm sure he was silently saying to himself, finally, she likes...SOMETHING?

Yes, this wine was a more than drinkable. Dark, smooth and full, two of my three favorite grapes played well with one another. The only reason this one did not come home, price. No need to get into that.
 Seizing the chance to make me very happy, Kevin poured another heavy handed sample and left momentarily to greet some guests from Texas. (He was so nice!)

It was time to bring out the ultimate in a Paso Robles blend.
Sofa King Bueno! 75% Syrah, 12% Mourvedre, 5% Petite Syrah, 4% Grenache. This was the wine that Denise wanted me to try....along with Spritz and Giggles sparkling wine. (We're not going to talk about the bubbles)

Kevin returned and was still smiling and taking good care of me. He poured a healthy amount of the wine in my glass and without hesitation described how much he liked this particular wine and it's popularity among locals. As he talked more and more about the wine, I could not help but to notice that the graphic on the label reminded me of Norman Bates' mother in Psycho. There was not much in the way of flavor, but the dryness of the wine was appealing...and Kevin was so nice.

After visiting more than 200 plus wineries in the last three years, it is expected to not enjoy every wine that is consumed. It is also acceptable to disagree with a winemakers style, and many winemakers value the feedback that customers give. It is however NOT cool to insult a wine. The wines at Chronic Cellars were different, not bad, just different. (and that's okay!)

 The time spent at Chronic Cellars was an exercise in learning to be in disagreement with the taste of a wine, and to not blow the disagreement out of proportion. During this visit, any disagreement was remedied by the treatment received and the attitude of the people who work in the tasting room. Kevin was a true professional. He could read my body language and offered the opportunity to sample several wines above what was being poured that day. The tasting fee was also waived. (That was so nice!) This said to me that he cared, or that he feared that I would slam him and the wines in this blog. (Nope!) His honesty, generosity and knowledge of the surrounding area were impressive, but what impressed me most was his steadfast support of the winemaking team at Chronic Cellars. The more he spoke of them and their passion for what they do and how they do it, it was easy to accept that this was just one of those wineries where nothing really appealed to my taste. (and that's okay!)

 Would I suggest a visit to Chronic Cellars? Absolutely.  I give Kevin two big slaps upside the head for his outstanding customer service. (He was so nice!)

When in Paso Robles, visit Chronic Cellars. Bring your pool cue and a sense of adventure.

Until next time,
Salute'